+ JoUrNeY Of PaMpErEd PrInCeSs MiNz +

Saturday, August 28, 2010

没有你的日子- Day 142

28 Aug 10

After so long today throw temper at beloved... I feel sorry that i hang her phone... A big hoha abt the passport.... Ended up the passport is with... so sorry that i have make mistake that i tot it was with mummy... I think I scare her that she tot was ppl who took it away....

Hmm... Y am i still dreaming of him recently... the dream is like so real... I dreamt that we are back tgt.... I know that it is becoz i kept thinking thats why i will have this dream....

Went to read beloved blog den i know that today was his birthday.... hmm it has been years that he left us... really sad that this happen so sudden... still rem how beloved was when he left her... I know she could not accept and i know is hard for her to strong.... But now that i know she have make it... saw beloved wrote a message for me on her blog.... I cried.... really... tears drop off like tap water..... I just cant off it....

Beloved

I dunno what i have done wrong for him to dump me... just becoz i shouted at him ?? or he actually in love with her le... thats y he dun wan me ??? I really dunno when he like her ?? when i was at overseas ?? but y when im back that time he treated me so gd ?? becoz guilty ?? or his feelings for her is after we quarrel ?? i also have alot of questions in my mind too....

Not that i dun wanna tell u anything... I know u urself also busy with ur things... I just dun wan to disturb u all.... I really tried my best to let go and wanted to try out new r/s but really cant... coz i couldn't let go how can i just start a new r/s... Sometimes i felt so unfair to me... i know that we cant compare each other... but i dun understand y he wanna hurt me so much.... I really hurt soooo much that u all dunno.... the things that he had said to me and everything.... I din force him to apply flat with me.... he say the location is gd easy to access facing expressway he said we need to plan coz is for us to stay for years not months... he promised that he wont leave me de... I really prepare that i will married him but ended up he dun wan me le.... Do u know that now I went to the house that we have applied and it already built up to 3 storey le... u know how sad i am ? Yes i know he already changes and he is now happy with what he have...

The above is what i had wrote on 28 aug which have yet to be publish....

12 Sept 10

Today went to my 2nd uncle house coz my cousin is getting married today... later will be going for his dinner at hilton hotel.... Saw them get married really make me sad... not becoz of them but is becoz of my personal problem... as i think if him again............

Beloved I din know that u all along know that who is the gal... and u have nv even mention to me at all... I know that everyone just wanna keep it from me... coz u all know that once i know im sure to be sad... True enough i cried and feel so sad.... I even asked myself am i a spare tyre for him ?? Did he ever loved me b4 ?? 我真的很天真的以为他会回来。Now that I see the whole picture le... 原来我不是他想要找的那个女孩，我只是他人生的过路人。我想谢谢你给了我一个美好的回忆。